My son, Jason, was married to a wonderful woman named Emily for 6 years. She moved halfway across the world to be with him, leaving behind her family, friends, and career. Together, they had beautiful twin daughters who are now 4 years old.
Then, all of a sudden, they announced their divorce. Jason told me he wasn’t happy anymore and, what’s worse, he had already started dating someone new only 2 months after they separated. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he announced their engagement a couple of months after that.
She felt sorry for her daughter-in-law.
Honestly, I was shocked. I asked him gently if he was sure about this, if maybe he should take some time to focus on his kids and heal. He just brushed me off. In the meantime, Emily was left to raise two toddlers in a foreign country, without any close family or friends nearby. She didn’t even have a car at first. So, I decided to step in.
I visited her and the daughters as much as I could, and I helped her out financially when I could by purchasing groceries and paying the occasional daycare payment. I wanted her to know she was not alone and that she had support. Our family remained intact even after the marriage ended. Then I got the invitation to the wedding…
So she decided to show her support.
Jason told me the twins would be the flower girls and that I could ride with them and his fiancée’s mother to the venue. It didn’t sit right with me. I couldn’t stop thinking about Emily, spending that day alone while her children were with their father and his new wife. No laughter from the kids, no one to check on her.
So, I made a decision. I told Jason I wouldn’t attend the wedding. He was upset, but I simply told him I had other plans. And I did. I picked up Emily that morning, and we spent the day together. We went for brunch and a walk in the park, and sat down for tea and a long chat. It turned out to be a lovely day. She cried at one point, but there were plenty of smiles too. I think she really needed that. She needed to know she wasn’t alone, and that she mattered.
Now, her relationship with her son is strained.
A couple of days later, Jason called me, furious. Apparently, photos of Emily and me from that day had circulated among our mutual friends. He said everyone was talking about how I skipped his wedding to hang out with his ex-wife. He accused me of embarrassing him, making his new wife uncomfortable, and “choosing the wrong side.”
I told him I wasn’t choosing sides. I chose kindness. I didn’t agree with how he handled the situation. Leaving his wife stranded in a foreign country with two young kids after their divorce wasn’t right. He hung up on me. Now, some relatives are telling me that I should have gone to the wedding, even if I didn’t agree with his choices. But part of me still feels like I did the right thing. Was I wrong to skip the wedding?
Supporting Emily was a kind thing to do. Your loyalty and compassion towards your daughter-in-law shows your values, even if it did upset your son. Sometimes, standing up for what’s right means making tough choices, and it’s important to stay true to your beliefs.
That being said, sit down with your son and give him your side of the story if you wish to prevent such arguments. He may not comprehend right now, but maybe he will eventually realize why you took the actions that you did. You obviously value your family, therefore mending the rifts in your relationship is what’s crucial right now.
You might find this story interesting if you want to see family relationships and the effects of tough choices from a different angle.
