Rachel Surtees suffered a double loss after sending her son to visit his dad
ANSWERING the door Rachel Surtees felt her heart instantly drop.
Two detectives stood before her, bringing the news that would destroy her life and that no mother should ever have to hear.
Her baby son Hudson had been found unresponsive in his father, Carl Bibby’s flat.
He had d.i.e.d as a result of non-accidental head injuries inflicted by Bibby.
In a further devastating blow, the officers went on to explain that hours later Bibby had taken his o.w.n l.i.f.e.
“I experienced unfathomable and complete grief,” Rachel recalls.
“The man I had trusted to take care of our little boy was the reason he was no longer here, it shattered my world.”
Layton, 14, Fraser, 6, and ten-month-old Georgie, a happy little girl, are the children of respiratory nurse Rachel Surtees, 33, who lives in Newcastle with her new boyfriend.
Born in February 2023 Hudson was her third child. He d.i.e.d when he was just 12 weeks old.
“Hudson will not be forgotten,” Rachel says.
“My drive to ensure that no other baby suffers like he did keeps me moving forward.”
Mother without a partner In April 2022, Rachel, who was recently divorced, met scaffolder and single father Bibby on a dating site and found out they had friends in common.
She says: “We went on a couple of dates and would take our kids out together.
“But our relationship wasn’t particularly serious ”
However, just two months after they began dating Rachel was stunned to discover she was pregnant, particularly as in 2017 she had one of her fallopian tubes removed after an ectopic pregnancy.
According to Rachel, initially Bibby struggled with the news.
“Carl didn’t seem happy with the pregnancy in the initial stage but did come to the 20 week scan and seemed positive asking for a scan picture,” she says.
“I told him I was happy to raise Hudson on my own and that I didn’t expect any financial help.
“I gave him that option to be out of our lives but he didn’t take it.”
As the pregnancy went on, the pair drifted and became more friends than romantic partners.
“Carl blew hot and cold,” Rachel says.
“I think that the stress of his work and raising his children was really getting to him.”
In February 2023 Hudson John Bibby was born, three weeks premature and weighing 7lb7oz at the RVI Hospital in Newcastle.
“I delivered Hudson with my best friend as support. He was rushed into the special care unit as the delivery was rough, he was premature and poorly,” says Rachel.
“When I held him for the first time my heart swelled., I knew instantly he was a kind loving little boy.
“He radiated joy, and my other two boys adored him.”
Rachel explains Bibby visited for an hour the day after he was born and an hour on another day and bought some gifts.
Rachel was in hospital for seven days as little Hudson had jaundice.
“It didn’t bother me that I was the primary carer, as long as he was happy and safe,” she says.
Bibby and Rachel arranged for her to bring Hudson to his home in February 2023 when they registered his birth and then once a fortnight so he could spend time with his dad and two half siblings.
“I felt it was progress and did it for Hudson’s benefit,” Rachel says.
“Every two weeks I’d drop Hudson to his dad for a couple of hours hoping that the two of them would bond.
“It all seemed to be going well, there were no red flags in my eyes.”
With the arrangement working well, Rachel was happy for Bibby to have Hudson over night on two occasions.
The second time she collected him from an overnight stay Hudson seemed a bit poorly with Rachel believing it was just a simple cold.
Then the next weekend on April 28 Bibby asked if he could have Hudson over with his two other children because it was Bibby’s birthday.
“I agreed and when I kissed Hudson goodbye Carl seemed happy, everything was perfectly normal,”
Rachel says. “I couldn’t have imagined that would be the last time I saw my little boy alive.
The following day, Rachel was getting ready to collect Hudson when the police arrived at her door.
“They asked to come in and the two female CID officers asked me to sit down,” she says.
“They told me Hudson was found unresponsive in his father, Carl’s flat and that my little boy was d.e.a.d.
“They told me that Carl had also d.i.e.d after taking his o.w.n l.i.f.e.
“It was like a tidal wave of horror and the shock took my b.r.e.a.t.h a.w.a.y.”
Grief-stricken Rachel was then taken to RVI m.o.r.t.u.a.r.y to identify her son’s body.
“Standing in the m.o.r.t.u.a.r.y I saw his tiny face, he looked as though he was sleeping” she says.
“The reality struck me and my legs gave way – this wasn’t a n.i.g.h.t.m.a.r.e, my baby boy was gone.”
Returning home without her son was almost too much to bear for Rachel.
“I went home and his Moses basket was next to my bed. I could smell him on the sheets, his clothes, and toys,” she says.
“I was breast feeding and every day my body produced milk for my son who was no longer there.
“It enveloped me in darkness and grief so deep I never thought I’d find a way out.”
The initial postmortem discovered Hudson had suffered blunt force trauma to the head.
“X-ray and samples had to be sent away to determine the exact cause of d.e.a.t.h,” Rachel says.
Police who had tried to prevent Bibby from taking his o.w.n l.i.f.e told Rachel his answers to questions made them believe he’d “done something irreversible” but he would not say what.
“The idea that my baby boy’s body had been left alone in the house broke me,” Rachel says.
Hudson was c.r.e.m.a.t.e.d in a wicker baby burial basket on May 16, 2023 at Tynemouth C.r.e.m.a.t.o.r.i.u.m with more than a 100 people turning out to support Rachel and her two older boys in their grief.
In August 2024, the final forensic pathology results were revealed.
Forensic experts determined Hudson has suffered severe shaken baby syndrome – shaken by his father so badly that night it caused r.e.t.i.n.a.l b.l.e.e.d.i.n.g, s.p.i.n.a.l c.o.r.d and b.r.a.i.n b.l.e.e.d.s.
He was then t.h.r.o.w.n o.n.t.o a surface, k.i.l.l.i.n.g him instantly.
“They also found evidence of a b.r.a.i.n b.l.e.e.d a week old which coincided when Hudson had last stayed over at his dads,” she says.
Rachel explains b.r.a.i.n b.l.e.e.d.s don’t cause obvious bruising,
“There was no obvious bruise, but the cold symptoms are a rare side effect of such an injury,” Rachel explains.
“My son d.i.e.d according to coroners’ findings between 11:45pm and 12:15am between the 28th and 29th.
“The police report was so precise because Carl was seen on CCTV leaving his flat at 12.15 and not returning.”
Last November Georgina Noland, H.M Senior Coroner for Newcastle and North Tyneside Coroners released the Inquest of Record into Hudson’s d.e.a.t.h.
It concluded 12-week-old Hudson’s medical cause of d.e.a.t.h was b.l.u.n.t h.e.a.d t.r.a.u.m.a and he was unlawfully k.i.l.l.e.d at the hands of his father, Carl Bibby.
The coroner decla.red: “Hudson John Bibby was 12 weeks old. Overnight on 28th – 29th April 2023 he was placed in the sole care of his father at his home in Whitbeck Court, Newcastle upon Tyne, who subjected him to a deliberate head injury which led to his d.e.a.t.h at the scene.”
While knowing the truth about Hudson’s d.e.a.t.h provided some comfort to Rachel she felt cheated by the fact that Bibby could not be prosecuted.
“We knew Carl was responsible but seeing it written down by a coroner was so very important to me,” Rachel says.
“He was criminally liable but because he d.i.e.d the same day as Hudson, there was no one to arrest and no case to be brought to court,” Rachel says.
“I wanted justice for Hudson. I am angry I couldn’t get that through the criminal courts.
“Carl taking his l.i.f.e r.o.b.b.e.d me of finding out why it all happened.”
While Rachel holds a lot of anger towards Bibby, she recognises that he was suffering with his mental health and desperately needed help.
“I wish Carl had gotten help for any mental health issues that I believe lead to Hudson’s d.e.a.t.h,” she says.
“Often men struggle after the birth of a child with the focus on the mother’s mental wellbeing and child’s health.
“Post birth dad’s mental health can decline and be unnoticed.”
Following Hudson’ d.e.a.t.h, Rachel was visited by members of Bibby’s family.
Rachel explains: “Carl’s step mum and dad came to see me with flowers.
“I spoke to his sisters. I had never met them and they have their own grieving to do.”
Determined to pay tribute to her son, she crowdfunded a bench in Hudson’s memory overlooking the beach she loved to take him.
“I sit there most days and remember the three months he was with us,” she says.
Dedicated to helping others the nurse has also fundraised more than £3100 for 4Louis, a UK charity dedicated to supporting families affected by m.i.s.c.a.r.r.i.a.g.e, s.t.i.l.l.b.i.r.t.h, and the d.e.a.t.h of a baby or child.
Shortly after Hudson’s d.e.a.t.h Rachel reconnected with a male friend she hadn’t seen for 14 years.
“He was always a good mate and helped me try and deal with the tragedy,” Rachel explains.
The pair became a couple and in September 2024 Rachel gave birth to a little girl Georgie, now ten months old.
“Holding Georgie in my arms I knew Hudson was there too – in part of me and in part of her,” Rachel says.
“She is not a replacement for Hudson, no one ever could be but she was a glimmer of light in such a dark time.
“Georgie brings me joy and hope again.”
As part of her grieving process Rachel has bravely shared her story on social media.
“I have talked about my PTSD, my depression, my grief and shared Georgie’s pregnancy and birth,” Rachel says.
“So many women have messaged me and shared their story, and we have been an enormous support to one another.
“I believe that’s one of the gifts Hudson gave me the chance to help other mummies and other little babies like him”.
While Rachel has learned to manage her grief she still struggles to accept the loss of Hudson.
“I know time will heal but at the moment I still can’t quite reach acceptance,” she says.
Rachel hopes that by sharing Hudson’s story she will be able to keep his legacy alive.
She says: “I will dedicate my life to Hudson’s legacy and other babies that can’t speak for themselves.
“I know we can prevent d.e.a.t.h.s like his, I wouldn’t want anyone to suffer like he or I did.
“He might be g.o.n.e but his spirit lives on in me and my children.”
